Essential #5 - Enthusiasm and ChangeJul 28, 2019
What types of changes in your child with special needs do you celebrate?
- Do you follow the milestone chart to determine what success looks like?
- What milestones you are waiting for?
- Are there changes that you might have missed out on celebrating?
Alllll the experts talk about the milestone chart.
I thought that meeting those milestones meant my daughter would be one step closer to being "fixed".
- Once she starts walking, she’ll be fine.
- Once she says momma, she’ll be fine.
- Once she potty trains, she’ll be fine.
It was a painful process to realize there was no milestone she could reach to make her "fine". She will have challenges for the rest of her life.
But that doesn't make her "less-than".
She's actually perfect the way she is.
AND she deserves my love and attention and enthusiasm for whatever changes she creates, regardless if it’s written on some chart.
I had to reframe my language, and my definition of “fine”.
I had to challenge my own thoughts:
- What did I consider a success?
- What did I consider something to celebrate, or get enthusiastic about?
Because, sitting around, not celebrating anything for years and years, waiting for her to walk, talk, potty train, that didn’t feel good.
I felt like I was disrespecting her process.
She works soooooo hard.
And our kids happen to be THE hardest working humans on the planet.
I realized that if I couldn’t get enthusiastic about the “small” changes, which were HUGE in our world, then I wasn’t being the best mom that I could be.
I was denying her the experience of acknowledging how amazing she is.
So what in the world is a change, anyways?
How big does the change have to be, for it to be a change?
How much evidence do you need that a change happened?
In the context of my daughter learning to walk, there are millions of tiny movements her brain had to discover before she could walk.
Learning to walk is a complex process. Navigating gravity and limbs and head and pelvis, it takes years for most to master. So, where along the line of those tiny movements, did I NOTICE a change happening?
It was only through taking the Anat Baniel Method® training, did I realize how complex, how many millions of stages there are to learning how to walk.
I want to open your eyes to the wonder of all those tiny movements.
How amazing their brains are to figure out all of those millions of beginning movements!
My whole work (and personal approach to my daughter) is now based on the idea that our brains can change.
If you have a brain, it’s capable of change!
So how big of a change do you need as evidence that your child’s brain is capable of change?
It’s mind-blowing how amazing our kids brains are!
Despite their limitations, they have sooooo much potential.
Let's tap into that potential by getting enthusiastic about those small changes.
Enthusiasm shines a spotlight for your child’s brain to notice that change is possible.
Giving your child's brain the ability to self recognize change is a one of the most powerful things you can do as a parent to help your child reach their potential.
PS... I would LOVE to hear what changes you've noticed this week. Join our private FB group to share and get inspiration from other like-minded parents.